Beginnings
Let me introduce myself. I'm a twenty-seven year old teacher in Canada, and I'm some sort of a Christian, I guess. I call myself Christian because I was brought up Baptist, and God is still very important to me. I don't have a traditional Christian concept of God anymore though, and I don't belong in churches. Churches frustrate and anger me, and I make my church friends uncomfortable. I joined a church that suited me in worship style, but it still had conservative theology. I tried to fit in there. I even became a youth leader, for a while. I stayed there for several years, and yet my heretical beliefs did not change. Some of my ideas are the same as they were when my rather open-minded parents shared them with me, and others I have developed into stronger, more controversial beliefs.
I understand why most people my age have grown up with no interest at all in religion. They learned about the wars and other horrors that have been committed in the name of God over the centuries, and they shake their heads. They see people judging others, and yet doing unloving and immoral things themselves, and they get disgusted. They see people living their lives according to strict religious morals and rules, and they know that they can get more out of life without such things. I understand. I have re-examined the rules and chosen which to keep myself. I have rejected the judgemental attitudes of church people and try to befriend people of many walks of life, not just righteous people. I don’t “witness” to anyone, or try to force my ideas on people. I don’t know that I am right about anything, and I have no right to preach to others.
I see why my generation has no time for religion, but I am not completely finished with it. I find myself in conflict because I have a connection to something that I think of as God, and I don’t want to let that go. I have always known that God is not limited to churches. Church leaders that forget that people could interact with God somewhere else, without their help, have often annoyed me. I know though, that it helps to have people to share faith and experiences with.
This past summer I was feeling the tug at war between needing to leave the church and needing to hang out with God. One of my friends suggested that I start my own religion. I laughed at him. Later I thought about it, and tried to start a group. I advertised in the local paper, and received emails from a number of interested people. Three times I have tried to meet with them, and three times no one has actually shown up. I am frustrated and sad, and still alone in my belief and interest in God. I will write here about my thoughts. I would love comments, but if you are a fundamentalist, please don’t bother trying to save me. I have grown up among fundamentalists, and their view of the world and God has not rubbed off on me. I don’t like to be absolutely sure of anything, but I’m reasonably sure that I’m never going to see the Bible as infallible.
posted by Agate @ 10/15/2005 04:51:00 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Hello from Vancouver. I share your views about fundamentalist religion and the ignorance about spirituality of some overtly and overly 'religeous people'. It would be a waste to be indoctrinated by those kind of 'leaders'. Your invitation for a discussion group sounds great, so hereby my two bits. "Vaya con Dios", Henny
Hi Henry. I had not bothered to post anything else here, because I guess I gave up even as I wrote the first post. Now that you have responded, I think I will try writing again, and maybe others will comment too.
I am a Christian, do believe in God and try to practice the teachings of the Bible. I have worked in two churches as a church administrator and yes I find the judging and mindset of some individuals very disturbing at times. Quite often I wonder where they get some of these ideas from and why the love they speak of isn't exemplified through their character. However, I have to remind myself that God is bigger than some of the ugly things that I witness. It is a challenge. Yet, I do believe in God and His promise. Unfortunately, people sometimes allow rituals and rules to become such a part of them that the love God speaks of is not apparent. The older we get, the more we begin to question people's actions and how they correlate with God's word. The truth is there is not always a correlation. Just as we get older and question more, we also get older and become so set in ways that are destructive to ourselves and others. I do not have the answers to the hurt that any environment can cause, including church. All I can say is don't stop living the life of love that God speaks of. Take the steps to show love that the Bible speaks of. Surround yourselves with those who are ttrying to live by the Bible and limit the time you spend with those who live contrary to this. They will rob you of your joy, purpose and dreams if you allow them to. Keep your eyes on God and not the person and their actions. If you read the Bible and develop a relationship with God, He will direct your path. Don't allow others to be a stumbling block.
Anonymous, thank you for your words of encouragement. I know that churches are full of people and that people make mistakes, and I know that God is bigger than all the pain that people cause. I have always tried to live a life of love, but I'm starting to think that living the Bible is a more complicated thing to do. Most people in all demoninations of Christianity try to live according to the Bible, but they interpret it differently, and focus on different aspects and books of it. For example, both the Evangelicals who condemn homosexuality, and the United Church ministers who perhorm gay marriage are trying to live out the Bible. Which one of these sides is showing the love of Christ better?
I don't know who is demonstrating love better. I have never read anything in the Bible that would lead me to believe that marriage of the same sexes is approved by God. But, I have read things that are contrary to the same sexes marrying. Some things in the Bible are very apparent because the words are right there. Some are harder to understand, as you know. At the same time I do believe that some individuals are born with the physical appearance that is not indicative of thier sexual orientation. I have not read words in the Bible that lead me to think that God wants me or anyone else to treat people with disdain. Fundamentalist sometimes appear to show ill feelings toward people who are different from them in any way, not just in the area of homosexuality. When they consider sin they look at any act that the Bible illustrates as outside of God's will. Unfortunately, their ill feelings seem to sometimes go beyond the act and straight to the person. If homosexuality is a sin in their eyes, the person who is homosexual I guess could fall into this category. The United Church ministers are trying to embrace love and show it. But in doing so, some people might question their supporting foundation for conducting gay marriages. Is it scripture-based? Any Christ-centered church should use the Bible as its premise. In closing I guess the bigger questions are "Whose definition of love are we using to resolve the issue of Gay Marriages? Are we using God's definition according to His word or are we using our definition to fit our society? In the end, who do we want to please, God or man"? Me from March 24 again.
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